I am pinning this because I have such a similar story and it makes me happy seeing I'm not the only girl that was treated like a "girl" in a dojo and had to show a cocky boy how to really be a man. Accidentally broke his nose.
I just want to leave. All the time. I want to put in my headphones and drive and never come back and if one day I get the chance to do it I will. Don't underestimate me. I want to leave. I wish I could leave it all, if only I could leave them behind.
INFP Personality - I can definitely be like this. And it flips like a switch. I can be laughing and having a good time with friends or family and then it's like switch gets flipped and I completely shut down.