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I got plastic surgery

Plastic Surgery Duck>> thats you look like.

I hate the sound of people chewing their food! Especially when they smack!

Misophonia: literally the hatred of consistant sounds; chewing/crunching or repeating of same noise. Pet peeve when someone says "I'm not chewing with my mouth open" or "I'm not smacking" -.

please don't see me...

Every damn time I go to the grocery store.

Merry christmas, 98 sleeps

Everyone keeps posting intense political rants, and I'm here like "How many days until Christmas?

You Lint Licker!

you son of a biscuit eating bull dog! what the french toast! you thought i wouldn't find out about your little doo doo head cootie queen! haha loved that commercial!

funny memes ain't nobody got time for that

Ain't nobody got time fo. wait, I've got time fo dat!

hahaha yes OP: a-mishmash-of-awesome o.O

hell ya I know what you mean hahahahahaha! Fuck the police all day long hahahaha!

I rarely say something that's not hilarious. Lol.

Funny Confession Ecard: I usually laugh at my own texts before I send them because I rarely say something that's not hilarious.

Kids Say the Darndest Things | #kidquotes

Funny eCard - My Dad convinced me that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out - Well played Dad

And then my mom said, "guess who has to make his own damn dinner from now on? YOUUUUU!!!" And also, *who's. I hate these bratty teenager pins. >:-(

My mom said to me "guess whose doing the dishes tonight?I hit that Soulja Boy and said "YOUUUUUU!

....

- So Romney’s coming for dinner huh? - “ - So Romney’s coming for dinner huh? - Have you seen “The Help” ” (vía Texts From Hillary)

Sounds familiar! Or how bout when you start a project/chore and does 90% of it and they offer to help and does the last 10% and then takes credit for all of it?

That is if he will take the trash out at all! My husband does a ton of other things, but trash isn't one of them! I have learned to pick my battles!

coolest flight attendent ever!!! i'd love to have a flight attendent like this at 5 am :) lol

Coolest flight attendant ever. Southwest flight attendants are the best - hope I can get this guy next time I fly on Southwest lol

I'm not even going to go near the Crazy Park either!!

Funny Confession Ecard: I dont meet the height requirement to ride your emotional ROLLERCOASTER!

Accounting humor

Accounting humor

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