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So simple! #bdsm #bdsmlife #bdsmcommunity #bdsmlifestyle #daddy #daddydom #ddlg #daddysgirl #passion #submissive #submissivegirl #bond #protection #bondage #trust #kinky #idfwu #dwyd #brat #collared #imhis #hesmine #owned #naughty #love #loved #tiedup

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: All I want is some ice cream, vodka, and an orgasm. I'm simple like that.

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Sometimes my cleavage eats more than I do.

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Image result for scientifically stupid friends

I don't mean to sound like a dude, but its been three days since we had sex. I'm having trouble concentrating.

Having trouble concentrating? Try 8 months.

SO TRUE..I think it was Martha Stewart who said you should have guests over once a month so your house gets tidied :)

So hurry up and clean the house! I give up on a clean house

uh, yeah. damn but the sex was good.

Make that a foot massage 4 orgasms and a donut and we got a deal.

Nod.

Nod.

Exactly! Foods do NOT touch!

I hate certain foods touching. I hate soggy food

This is funny but true...sorry kids you all annoy me....some of you more often times than you know, but you know who you are, don't you? Yes, I thought so.

I have actually told my study hall kids this!

A wonderful distraction.

"I swear I was doing dishes . then my phone went off . and somehow I ended up reading. Somehow I always end up reading!" Yup pretty much!

Funny Confession Ecard: I fear that I might have an unhealthy obsession with Law and Order: SVU. @Samantha Hogan !!!!!!!!!!

Funny Confession Ecard: I fear that I might have an unhealthy obsession with Law and Order: SVU. SO TRUE

Funny Flirting Ecard: Happy happy, joy joy, I'm your kinky sex toy. Bite me, lick me, scratch my back..and give my ass a lil smack!

Funny Flirting Ecard: Happy happy, joy joy, I'm your kinky sex toy.and give my ass a lil smack! I literally laughed out loud!

yep, that hot

The Funniest Someecards Of The Week (PHOTOS)

OMG, I felt sooo yucky. I took a shower at my clients house

"daddy things" by bvblover666 ❤ liked on Polyvore featuring daddy, daddy kink, tops, ddlg, white top, pictures, text, filler and sayings/quotes

the last one is fucking assault i'm actually disgusted

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Image result for sexy dirty sex quotes

A Selection of 28 #Funny #Quotes and #Sayings to Make You Smile

My exact thought.

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