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Every guy thoughts every girls' dream is to find the perfect guy. Every girls' dream is to eat without getting fat!

Tell me lies sweet little lies

My mom is terribly ashamed of me!

Today’s housekeeping tip.ha ha ha, that's funny!

39 New Funny Quotes You're Going To Love. Hell hath no fury when I'm slightly inconvenienced and hungry

Here is collection of some really dirty and inapprpriate quotes, warning… don’t reproduce them in home

I do this to people when I'm drunk. Mostly people names Roxanne. Thankfully the only song I've ever heard my name in is a slow country song that most don't know and wouldn't sing.

Now ain't that the truth! Now ain't that the truth! Now ain't that the truth!

I don't trust joggers. They're always the ones who find dead bodies. Just Saying.

When people tell me "you're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon, because I'm a problem solver. Not that I ever could sleep till noon

this is so sad but true. except for one thing. I waste lots more than an hour.

I go in the Dollar Store and tell myself to go wild, true story.

but I AM hilarious! I crack me up all the time. If anyone ever puts a camera in here I will be put away for laughing at nothing all the time. I cry hard and I laugh hard.

Rebel circus quotes sorry for being late didn't want to come

I'm pretty sire I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I'll let you know.

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