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Wife says to husband, "You wanna change positions tonight?" He says, "Yeah!" She says, "Okay, you do the dishes and I will sit on the couch and fart.

I'm a like smart ass, short and stout. Here is my finger, here is my mouth. When I get all worked up, I will shout.Piss me off and I'll cuss you out!

Double Talker

Humor) 'It's a proven fact that women say twice as many words a day as men. That's because we have to repeat everything we say to them.

Guess I'm stepping up to bouncer status....

How i feel now that we have 6 kids between my one n my inlaws kids! We are all official bouncers!

Lol!

Does anybody have a recipe for I don't know? or I don't care? It's what my family requested for supper and I can't seem to find any recipes. Too true

happens all the time lol

Funny Confession Ecard: That moment when you're supposed to be cleaning and you put on music and it turns into a dance party for one. Yup this is me!

And when you come to a fork in the road, well, take it. Because, hey, free fork.

No, a tiger can't change his stripes. He's a fucking tiger.

I had to pin this because my son actually did this! He asked if there were pb cups cause his mom really likes them! I love that kid! Good looking out for your mom!

And if I can't do it...daddy helps me! ;-)

This one is for my lazy husband who thinks he helps around the house!

I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

How I feel about snoring.

Sassy eCards - Funny Ecards, Mean Ecards, Hilarious Ecards

Sassy eCards - Funny Ecards, Mean Ecards, Hilarious Ecards - a good man breaks .

my thoughts exactly !

My favorite winter activity is going back inside and putting my pajamas on. Every day of my life!

Right? My guess would be that I'm just that classy.

Free, Confession Ecard: You seem to be unaware of my hate for you. I don't know if it's because I'm such a class act or because you're an idiot. Either way you're an idiot and I hate you. Glad we could clear that up.

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