I want to do this for my kids to make reading exciting - for every stair, we'll read the book. Staircase to Knowledge by sungazing: Stairway to the reading room at The Magic House, St. Louis Children's Museum in Kirkwood, MO
The pain will change, hopefully become less raw with time and in distance allow perspective impossible now. For now, care for yourself, those around you and be as kind and patient as you can. This is the best life advice I have to give.