3. You don’t punish your partner This may seem funny or too extreme to some people, but I’ve seen it happen, it’s cruel and sad, but it is what it is. I’ve seen some of the most destructive relationships where one person purposely tries to punish the other person with their words, just because they’re too frustrated with their selves and are too afraid and insecure to admit it. Understand something; your partner is not liable or accountable for your past and the pain that came with it.